Planting Self-Esteem Seeds That Sprout Happy, Powerful People

Posted in: Parenting

(21 comments)  Hey there, Single Mom peeps! I’m improving things over here. Going forward, I’ll be bringing you both a great weekly radio show with a show description, and—also on this websitea short personal blog post on the same topic. This way, you and I can connect more… better… truer. Make sure you click the RSS button to automatically receive your weekly postings. (And pssssttt… tell a friend!)

Here’s today’s blog post:
This video filled my eyes with tears. It’s tough. It’s true.

I’ve posted this video because it relates to self-esteem—our topic this week on Single Mom Talk Radio. The reason why it relates is that the key to teaching our kids self-esteem is having great self-esteem ourselves. Children will build their self-image based on ours.

It’s painful to look in the mirror. Each of us single moms has a messy story to tell. My mommy journey was one of abandonment and loss (see my bio). If I were to tell you that my self-esteem wasn’t devastated when my son’s father left me to birth and raise a child on my own, I’d be lying.

I survived because new and old friends rallied around me. Through writing the If I Were Your Daddy… book, through many personal development programs, and through the grace of God, I rebuilt my self-image and self-esteem stronger than before. But this process took years. (And lots of European chocolate.)

Check out today’s radio show and take notes on the insights shared. (I’ve listened to it twice already!) Our guest, Dr. Joe Rubino, also offers a self-esteem building program, helpful because it’s not about hearing something once. It’s about creating the habits that are going to build rock-solid, personally powerful people: us and our children.

Whether you get Dr. Rubino’s program or another one, building self-esteem can be a priceless education—worth investing our time to master and pass on to our children.




with Dr. Joe Rubino – author of more than twelve self-esteem books and audio programs

Self-esteem seeds are being planted in our children everyday, just as they were planted in us when we were young. It’s human nature to fill in the gaps and give meaning to our lives. As a result, children often generalize events in an attempt to both understand and avoid unpleasant experiences. A girl who did poorly on a math test may conclude, “I’m not very smart.” A boy who gets teased in class may conclude, “People don’t like me. It’s better if I don’t speak up.” The effects of such conclusions are disastrous. Left unchecked, they can lead to tragedy. More commonly they show up in disguise, as endless struggle.

WAIT! Surely if negative seeds can be planted, so can positive ones—ones that build happy, powerful people! Today’s show gives you practical steps and specific examples to plant good seeds. Dr. Joe Rubino, author of more than twelve self-esteem books and audio programs, will outline the five components of self-esteem and how parents can affect them. You’ll also learn how your own life can be supported. Dr. Rubino will describe the common emotional habits—the predominant “addictive” emotional states originating in lower self-esteem—that we adults can fall prey to unless we consciously choose otherwise. You’ll hear ideas on how to repair self-esteem after the upset of a divorce or other stressful experiences. “There are fundamental principles for building powerful and happy people—principles that can be easily learned and mastered,” says Dr. Rubino. Listen to today’s show, check out his “self-esteem system”—and share this post with a friend! [related topics: self-esteem, building self-esteem in children, divorce, single mom] link: Listen here Dr. Joe Rubino: self-esteem system:

21 Responses to Planting Self-Esteem Seeds That Sprout Happy, Powerful People

  • Ken

    Replied on: October 3, 2011, 4:45 pm

    Wow, what a video. My own reaction was not tears but a knot in my stomach.

    It struck a personal note. I was emotionally abused as a child. Years later, after my sister’s death, a friend told us that my sister had once said that she had waited more than ten years into her marriage to have a child because she wanted to make sure—by seeing my wife’s and my parenting of OUR children—that it was possible not to carry the abuse into the next generation

    • juliaespey

      Replied on: October 3, 2011, 5:03 pm

      Thanks for sharing Ken. Could you share HOW you were able to not repeat those patterns? Did you ever catch yourself falling into a reaction pattern (In my book “If I Were Your Daddy…” John Gray admits that as a new father he saw himself reacting like his dad would of–harshly and controlling; Everything he wanted not to do. So he learned “how to parent better” through education.) What did you do and what would you recommend a parent do today who wanted to improve on her/his parenting models?

  • Andrew Ramirez

    Replied on: October 4, 2011, 7:47 pm

    Hi Julia, I’m not sure where to begin.

    First off, the video is an absolutely powerful message. I was just making mention to some of my friends that I feel that the problem with children these days is parents/adults.

    Parents fail to take responsibility for their actions from what I believe to be fear of the truth and a state of denial. As a joke, and to make my point, I often tell my friends and family that “Denial is not just a river in Egypt!”

    This video is the plain truth, clearly showcased with a powerful message. Children do and will follow our lead. So make sure you and I are leading in the right direction!

    Now to the Dr. Rubino interview…

    Absolutely amazing and information packed. I have three pages of notes and I know I missed a bunch of things. Definitely going to listen in again.

    Here are just a few of my major take aways…
    •The three ways to champion self-esteem
    •The 5 Components of High Self Esteem
    •Changing my “interpretation” of a “bad” situation
    •The cost of not addressing low self-esteem
    •Living with expectation to promote self motivation and action to alighn with results
    •And on and on

    It would be an absolute shame if anyone was deterred from listening to your segments because they are not “single moms”. These segments are for everyone. Especially this one on self-esteem with Dr. Rubino.

    Wow…I could right pages on to keep it short, I’ll just say, if you haven’t listened to this segment, head over now. You will be glad you did!

    Also, I see that you ask for insights from people on how they overcame challenges with personal issues and parenting. I mentioned in a previous comment that I am married to a former single-mom. I had my own self-esteem issues that contributed to me being a dud dad to my new (step) daughter.

    I’d like to share with you something I prepared for her when I finally got off of my Denial train and faced the truth and finally decided to be a great dad.

    It’s a poem…you can check it out here…

    I hope you enjoy!

    Thank you for your dedication to this great cause!


    • Julia

      Replied on: October 4, 2011, 7:53 pm

      Thanks for the excellent comment & share! Please share this post on FB or tweet or whatever… we need more people like you coming to this site! Yes, it’s not just for single moms though I’m glad you married such an excellent one!

  • Polly

    Replied on: October 10, 2011, 7:21 pm

    I would really like to give thanks for such a lot of work that you have made in writing this article. I am hoping the same most reliable job from you in the future as well.

  • Barbara Freeman

    Replied on: October 11, 2011, 11:18 am

    Thanks for all of your work on this web page. I am looking forward to reading more of your posts in the future.

    • juliaespey

      Replied on: October 11, 2011, 11:38 am

      Thanks so much. Wow!, this is fun but did I realize how much work it would be to do a weekly radio show that delivers useful, great content and then write up a blog and show description?… No! But then did I realize how much work it would be to raise a baby either? No! Though both are extremely rewarding, especially when I have comments like yours and Polly’s, Nancy’s, Sallie’s, Andrew’s where you all notice! Thanks for the share!

  • Lindsey Fick

    Replied on: October 13, 2011, 6:00 pm

    I want to show my appreciation to the writer for rescuing me from this type of dilemma. After researching throughout the world wide web and seeing opinions which are not powerful, I was thinking my life was gone. Being alive without the solutions to the issues you’ve sorted out by way of your entire blog post is a serious case, as well as the kind that might have badly damaged my entire career if I had not noticed your blog post. That talents and kindness in dealing with all areas was crucial. I’m not sure what I would have done if I hadn’t come upon such a thing like this. I can now look ahead to my future. Thanks a lot so much for your professional and amazing guide. I will not think twice to propose your web site to anyone who should receive recommendations on this issue.

    • juliaespey

      Replied on: October 14, 2011, 1:45 pm

      Wow! What a powerful share. So glad that this post & show made a big difference in your life. That’s the best reward ever! Please do share this post / this site with your friends. The only way we make a difference is when someone shares it first. Love!! —

  • Chi Bellusci

    Replied on: October 20, 2011, 7:59 pm

    We’re a group of volunteers and starting a new scheme in our community. Your website provided us with valuable info to work on. You’ve done a formidable job and our entire community will be thankful to you.

    • juliaespey

      Replied on: October 20, 2011, 9:11 pm

      Thanks so much Chi. Glad it helps. The radio show on self-esteem was so full of information, I’ve listened to it several times even though I was the host.

  • Tabitha

    Replied on: October 22, 2011, 11:34 pm

    hi I was luck to look for your theme in yahoo, your Topics is impressive, I learn a lot in your shows- really thanks very much, btw the theme of you blog is really wonderful.

  • John

    Replied on: October 25, 2011, 12:38 am

    Found this blog on an internet search & listened to your show. I’ve struggled with low self-esteem all my life. I feel like it affects everything I do, any ideas how I can jump into this. I’ve already listened to this show 4 times and I feel like i need more.

    • juliaespey

      Replied on: October 31, 2011, 9:41 am

      John, have you checked out the program by Dr. Rubino — go to the radio show and click on the box with his picture. (here: His program got really high reviews! AND I personally reviewed it before allowing it to be posted on my site. I only want really good stuff! Let me know how it goes. – Julia

  • Emily

    Replied on: October 29, 2011, 6:57 am

    I really like this show and post. It was a lot to take in and I thought well if I get one good, useful idea here and actually do something with it– then I”m ahead of the game. I got two and my daughter and I are using them now. Thanks. Your blog and show are really, really good. I subscribed so I don’t miss one.

    • juliaespey

      Replied on: October 31, 2011, 9:18 am

      You’ve got the best attitude Emily. Thanks for commenting on all the blog posts & listening to show. So glad it’s making a difference in your life!

  • Kim

    Replied on: October 30, 2011, 5:54 am

    Really packed full of great ideas. Are you going to have this guest on your show again?

    • juliaespey

      Replied on: October 31, 2011, 9:30 am

      Hey there Kim,
      absolutely. He just released a at-home self-esteem program for children. I thought it might be cool to see what specific things he can share with our community to help boost our children’s self-esteem. It’s such a basic building block for a happy life!!

  • mia

    Replied on: November 2, 2011, 12:26 am

    Do you have any more info on this?

  • Linwood Bara

    Replied on: November 2, 2011, 7:18 am

    Keep working ,great job!

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